thankfulness & denial...

In this long weekend of giving thanks, it was fitting that my reading picked up at Mark 14… describing the Last Supper. We are told to take and eat and remember, as modeled in this Last Supper, whenever believers gather for the Eucharist… with bread and wine… and I say it’s fitting because “Eucharist” quite literally means, “to give thanks.”

So I pause and give thanks- for Jesus, for the way He makes beauty from messes, for the way He loves, and for the grace I receive from His work on the cross. I pray I would remember the weight of this and never become immune to His story or the sight of His cross.

As Jesus and his disciples gathered to celebrate this Passover meal, I imagine it was similar to the excitement and festivity that we all experienced Thanksgiving night. The meal had significance in that it was a time of looking back on God’s faithfulness and provision, thanking Him for the ways He’s blessed them and protected them. They had certain foods that were traditional to eat at this meal… probably not pumpkin pie, but I’m sure it was delightful just the same…

Jesus put a damper on the mood a bit, though, when he told the group at the table that one of them was going to betray him in a major way that night. Suddenly everyone was on edge, making sure to point out their loyalty and that surely it wouldn’t be them. More so than the others, Peter was adamant that He would never forsake Jesus. When Jesus responded by specifically telling Peter that he would deny Jesus three times that very night, Peter spoke from his heart that he would rather die than disown his relationship with him…

Jesus was being gracious here, I think, because as I read on Peter denies Jesus more than just the three times we typically hear about…

- As Jesus spends his final hours praying in the garden of Gethsemane, so distraught that he is sweating blood, he asked the three closest to him, Peter included, to keep watch and pray with him… and three times Peter fell asleep instead of holding vigil with his desperate friend.

- Then when Judas and the mob showed up to arrest Jesus, there is a brief altercation as told in the other gospels, but eventually “everyone deserted [Jesus] and fled” (v.50)… everyone including Peter.

- The chapter ends with the other three denials that Jesus had predicted earlier in the evening. Three bold questions of whether Peter was one of Jesus’ followers… and three blatant answers that he was not.

Here’s the thing… I can identify with Peter. In my excitement and passion I make lofty statements and bold proclamations of how I wish to live my life for Jesus… but then, like Peter, I so often give into my flesh and my fear. I will sing songs and pray prayers of how I will do anything for the glory of His name… and then when opportunities arise I let my own desires or doubts get the best of me.

But the hope I have is this- even though the only consistent things about Peter were his tendency to speak too quickly and bail out when things got uncomfortable, God still used him as the vessel through which His church was organized and the gospel was spread. If God can use Peter as a pillar of establishing His church, maybe just maybe He can use me too. And this is another thing that I am deeply thankful for…