teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name... psalm 86:11
Monday, November 21, 2011
one foot in front of the other...
Highlights of the weekend:
decorating for Christmas and indulging in a Caramel Brulee Latte…
Not so favorite moment of the weekend:
running a practice 10k to prepare for Thursday’s Run for the Hungry…
Here’s the deal- I made a “30 before 30” list, and 29 of the 30 things to do were of my own accord. But Number 5… the one that says “run a 10k”… that was ALL my husband’s doing. Truth is, I hate despise (is there a stronger word than despise?!) running. I’m all for being active… as long as it’s in any form other than just plain old running. I started “training” two months ago… which lasted about 4 weeks. Now here we are days away and I’m not sure if I can do this.
So on Saturday we set out to do a practice run… I was good the first mile… my problem was with the five that came after! Literally, by mile marker 2.5 I was having a conversation in my head that shouldn’t be repeated… In a nutshell- I wanted to quit. I was tired, annoyed, didn’t see the point of all this. In the process and the struggle, though, there was a lesson to be had (isn’t there always?!)…
The lesson was this- just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Initially I thought this just had significance with running… but then Sunday night we got an email closing the door on something that we had been really hopeful for. I was instantly overcome with discouragement and defeat again. I’m exhausted from not knowing, from all the dead ends, the feeling like we’re getting nowhere. Then I heard it again…
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I’ve been dwelling on this phrase since, trying to figure out what that means for life and faith and me & M… and this morning I was reminded of Psalm 119:105…“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.”
The path of life can be hard and long… and often we desire for God to point a giant flood light down our path so we can see everything between here and eternity… we want to know it all and know it now- where we're heading, the purposes along the way. We want specifics because let’s be honest, journeying down the dark, uncharted path of unknowns can feel daunting. And while God doesn’t give us that all-illuminating flood light, he DOES give us a lamp, through His word and His spirit. The Hebrew word used in Psalm 119:105 means a small handheld lantern… the kind that only provided enough light to see right in front of you.
Here’s the picture this verse paints- we walk hand in hand with God through life… us and our lamp… and He allows us to see just barely one step ahead from where we’re standing. We have the choice to focus on everything we can’t see or that which we can… we’re invited to step into that light, into His presence, and with that one step of faith comes enough light to see just a little bit more. The only way for us to not be frozen in life and faith, is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, stepping into the little bit of light before us.
So this is what I’m learning, whether in running or in life or any other journey before me, that I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other… even when I’m frustrated and discouraged… even when things don’t make sense… leaning into the promises of God and the knowledge of His love for me, I will keep going one step at a time.
May we find hope from the God who desires to lead us with His light… and may we find courage to trust Him and step into where His light is guiding us.