teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name... psalm 86:11

Saturday, October 15, 2011

still waiting...

Me and M were talking with a friend last night about the similar place of life, work, and ministry we’re all at… feeling a restlessness and discontentment with where God has us currently… trying to make the most of it while at the same time wishing desperately to be moved on to the next thing. I know it’s probably a pretty relatable season for others out there- me and M have been trying to awkwardly find our way through it for a year now… some days better than others. Last night we were talking about the frustration that comes with this season- the process of putting yourself out there, letting hopes build, only to have doors closed, all while trying to foster a sense of trust and faith that the Lord DOES indeed still have a plan and purpose for you.

Then I opened my Bible this morning to the perfect Psalm that encompassed everything from last night’s conversation. I love the honesty and emotion in the Psalms… they inspire me to have the same raw conversations with God… he already knows the good, the bad, and the ugly so why try to hide it with flowery language and carefully worded prayers? This morning I seriously found myself thinking, “Psalm 13, get out of my head!”…

It starts with questions and statements like:
  • How much longer God?
  • Did you forget about me?
  • Are you going to let me suffer from these mind games, or are you going to do something?
  • Am I going to be unhappy forever?
  • How come everyone else is being blessed and “succeeding” but me?
  • I need answers!
  • I need some direction and guidance!
Sound familiar at all? Have you been there? So after all this rambling and venting, we come across a small but mighty word that changes the current of the conversation… the word “but”. In David’s honest questioning of God, he pauses and makes a statement that seems to contradict everything he’s just spewed out and it starts with that 3 letter transition. He says, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” And that’s it. That’s the end of it.

Here’s what I love… even in David’s discontentment with his current circumstances, he realizes that God is still good, He still loves David, and He is still in control… and that’s enough for him. This world and what it has to offer is not the end all be all- it’s not what defines us- and our circumstances aren’t the gauge of God’s involvement in our lives. The Hebrew word for “trust” David used is “batah”… it literally means to attach oneself to something firm and solid. There’s a sense of safety and security, but also a confident expectation because of the object your “batah” is connected to. Here’s the thing, people are going to fail you and life is always going to be changing, but the one thing we can stop and rest in is that God is unchanging and He is faithful. His timing isn’t always the same as ours and His plans don’t always match ours which causes tension in us, but we can have hope and have courage because He is the only thing worthy of trusting in.

May we learn what it truly means to “batah” in the Lord… and may it be enough for us when we’re waiting on His plans and purposes for our lives…


  1. I was recently talking to someone about how to decide next steps for my life. He wisely reminded me that Jesus' command to his followers when he left the earth was to wait. Wait for the Holy Spirit. Because if the Holy Spirit isn't in it, then it's not worth doing. That's much easier to say than to do. Glad you found some comfort in the Psalms during your waiting time.
    - Steph

  2. So true... but I agree, hard to do sometimes. Thanks for the encouragement Steph!